christmas card written by papa wilzbacher.

i would like to share what my dad wrote for our family's Christmas card this year. it is exploding with truth and love.

'Twas a week before Christmas and Mike just found out, 

"You're not doing a letter?" he said with a pout. 

"No, it's not on the list this year" Julie said. 

"But feel free to do one yourself instead."

So here I am not, tapping away,

Wondering what in the world to say.

Rather than recall the events of 2011,

I think I'd prefer us to focus on heaven.

It might be nice if all roads led there,

But in the end would that really be fair?

Not to our Savior who hung on tree

So we could be with Him for eternity. 

The gift of salvation is ours to receive. 

All we need do is choose to believe. 

If you already have, then don't be silent- 

The world needs to know why His Son was sent. 

Christmas Blessings from the Wilzbachers-

Mike, Julie, Eric, Jordan, and Jillian

(also, not sure why but for some reason i think this song fits.
they sang it at hope cc for offering awhile ago.)

 This is War- Dustin Kensrue  This is war like you ain't seen.
This winter's long, it's cold and mean.
With hangdog hearts we stood condemned,
But the tide turns now at Bethlehem.

This is war and born tonight,
The Word as flesh, the Lord of Light,
The Son of God, the low-born king;
Who demons fear, of whom angels sing.

This is war on sin and death;
The dark will take it's final breath.
It shakes the earth, confounds all plans;
The mystery of God as man

lesson on humility (from a favorite professor of mine)

In Christian Thought class, Professor Cree started the first day with a devotional about God receiving the glory in everything that we do. It challenged and changed my view on life. Yesterday was the last class and Cree did a devotional about being humble. Two days prior to the class, God gave me a huge lesson in humility so I think He wanted that lesson to continue. I want to share what he taught us about humility because it is something I need to work on and want others to know about. (Praise the Lord for wise professors who teach Truth).

This list is what Cree said are ways to keep yourself humble:

1. Remember the greatness of God and pray for the grace to tremble before Him. (be honest to Him)

2. Seek to have heart, not just head knowledge of God. (More you know, more you should be growing)

3. Avoid all unnecessary lingo without clearly defining yourself.

4. Always confess immediately when you don't know something.

5. Seek to believe only what you can prove from Scripture.

6. Never despise simple things, like the simple Gospel.

7. Always thank the people who taught you something new, especially if it was a correction.

8. Read old stuff, it will humble you.

9. Never speak or trifle with spiritual realiites especially about hell (aka...spiritual jokes are not very funny)

10. Understand that good theology ought to lead to good doxology. (More you know, more you want to praise)

not going to forget.

Oftentimes, I forget what happens throughout a week. I usually remember all the stressful things that happened or the extremely fun things.

I need to remember that God is pouring out His love to us and He has infinite goodness. I often get caught up with earthly things that I forget to listen to God. He is speaking. Lately God has used many different people and things to encourage and teach me. I am going to jot a few down...

1. "You can have it all, but you can't have it all at the same time." My best friends mom told me this when we were talking about what I will do next year. I won't be able to do everything that I want to next year, but that doesn't mean I can't have it all.

2. Francis Chan's sermon, When sin looks more enjoyable than God.

3. "You can glorify God no matter where you go." I needed to hear this and God spoke through Kauline last Saturday.

4. Sheet of Night by John Mark McMillan.

5. Lystra...a dear sister in Christ. Wow! God uses this beautiful woman to do Kingdom work.

6.  Isaiah 40-45.

Part of this passage is...


A voice says, "Cry!" And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it;
surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever."

7. Anna. This cute girl teaches me so much. She reminded of the little things in life that God uses to show us His goodness. I encourage everyone to spend some time with little children in the next few weeks. You will be able to love them as you are loved back.  

blessed on a birthday.

today was my birthday. a day to celebrate life. if i had to sum up how i feel after the day, it would be with the word blessed. i am so incredibly blessed. sometimes i do not realize how good the Lord is to me, His daughter. i was able to spend time with some of the people who are closest to me (though, others were gone in another country or city). i have been thinking though, the way i was treated today is the way i should treat the people in my life everyday. i felt loved, encouraged and truly appreciated. my parents, roommates and brother gave me gifts that fit so well with who i am. i was able to go out to a favorite dessert place with some of my sisters. honestly, i could see the love. it was a tangible thing. i want the people in my life to know that i thank God for them and praise Him for community (these past two days i have learned that we were for sure created for community...even when it is hard sometimes). i want to show people love like i was shown today even when it is not their birthday. i praise the Lord for my life. it is Him who knit me together. it is Him that had me be born on november 17. and it is Him who I want to live for since He has given me this life and this day of birth to celebrate.

can we celebrate each other even when it is not our birthdays? can we look at each other as sons and daughters of God? we were created to live life with others, so lets celebrate one another every day.

this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

itching to travel (aka learning to be content).

why is it that whenever we are in one place we typically want to be somewhere else? we are in one season of life, but want to be in the next? i know for college students (at least many of my friends and myself), we want to be in a location on this huge planet that we are not currently in. i would love to be in new zealand, seattle, colorado, india, uganda, or an array of other places right now. i am struggling with being content with where i am at. i love the friendships i have right now and what the Lord is doing at NWC, but traveling and meeting people of other cultures sounds so thrilling and just beautiful right now.

my question for myself (and possibly you) is, how do we find these adventures and meet people who are different from us where we are right now? i can guarantee you that traveling the world will almost always sound much better than writing papers. i think it is good to dream, but i have to be careful of focusing on the future. the Lord knows where we should be and i need to TRUST Him with that.

ironically, i started this blog then went to a women's panel my dorm put on. so i'm now going to finish it. one of the questions at the panel was about contentment. i love how the Lord tells us what we need to hear.

one of my favorite professors, Sue Payne, said, "contentment is being where God wants you to be. there are going to be wonderful things and not so wonderful things wherever you are at." this reminded me that we need to live in the present. that is a goal that i have right now. i am going to find adventure here...this week. if you want to join me, let me know. i like adventures with friends.

lastly, if you are struggling with contentment. talk about it with the Lord. start a continuous dialogue with Him throughout your day. and realize that contentment is being where He wants you to be and it is more about what is happening on the inside (your heart) than on the circumstances going on around you. grace, joy and peace to you...my dear friends and family.

advice from a man with green suspenders, a worn out hat, and a carpenter's pencil.

This weekend I went to Source to help work on the Annex, the apartment building they are creating for women getting out of sex trafficking. As we were putting down plywood in one of the bedrooms, Ray, a man who reminds me of my grandpa (because of his age and carpentry knowledge) was helping us. He actually is one of the main people working on the apartment, volunteering his construction knowledge, energy, and time to making sure it is completed. What I appreciate about Ray is his green suspenders, his carpenter's pencil that is always behind his ear, his worn out hat, and some advice he gave me and the other people working on the plywood.

First, he said if you are going to do construction always have your thinking cap on. Any time his wife asks him a question, he makes sure to find his hat before he answers her. Then any problem can be solved. And he said to always have your carpenter's pencil and tape measure with you. These things are necessities to being a good carpenter.

Ray's second piece of advice was after one of the women helping asked him why he was volunteering his time to be a carpenter for the Annex. He said, "I have a lot knowledge about the Bible already and I want to live it out. There are too many people sitting in pews and not doing what Jesus commanded us to do." He explained how we are not called to just gain head knowledge. Then he talked about how Jesus was asked in Matthew 22:37-40 what the two greatest commandments are, and Jesus replied that it is to love God and love others. We must understand both of these and follow them. Ray wanted to love others and that is why he works at the Annex.

When Ray told us this, I was amazed at how simple his answer was. We are to love God and love other people. It is so easy to forget that (especially when going to a Christian school).

I challenge you and myself to focus on these two things this week. How can you love God? How can you love others? It will make a difference on their life and your own. And God will be glorified if you do these two things.

I also challenge you to find someone who is around the same age of your grandma or grandpa and talk with them this week. Ask them a question. You will be surprised at their answer. I am so thankful for older people who share their wisdom. They look at life differently and I want to learn more from them, especially the man with the green suspenders, a worn out hat, and a carpenter's pencil behind his ear.

a joy that never ceases.

"Did you think joy was created to live always under that threat? Always defenseless against those who would rather be miserable than have their self-will crossed? For it was real misery. I know that now. You made yourself really wretched. That you can still do. But you can no longer communicate your wretchedness. Everything becomes more and more itself. Here is joy that cannot be shaken. Our light can swallow up your darkness: but your darkness cannot now infect our light. No, no, no. Come to us. We will not go to you. Can you really have thought that love and joy would always be at the mercy of frowns and sighs? Did you not know they were stronger than their opposites?"
-C.S. Lewis  (The Great Divorce)

This quote is from a story about a man on a bus ride to hell and then to heaven, witnessing what choices people are making. I highly recommend this fairly quick, yet intense read. It shows a vibrant picture of heaven and hell where everything Lewis says is meaningful.

One thing The Great Divorce reminded me of is how the joy of the Lord is everlasting. It was kind of ironic that I finished the book this weekend because over this past week God has been continually reminding me of that. I had a week of midterms that I thought would never end, but they did. The excitement I had was so incredible at 5p.m. when my last project ended, and I felt free as a bird. I was extremely happy (This feeling was partly because I had a great amount of coffee in me and not much sleep). This was, however, a temporary feeling. Joy to me is different.

Joy is something that lasts. It is something that we can have even in our worst moments. Jesus Christ gives us a "joy that cannot be shaken," according to C.S. Lewis. I wholeheartedly agree with him. When we have Christ in us, we have a joy and Savior that conquers death and Satan. I definitely lose sight of this during hard times, but that is why we have the Holy Spirit in us, Scripture, and hopefully other Christ followers around us to encourage us. I am evening learning what it means to have joy while suffering. To even desire suffering for Christ (I would love to chat more about this with you because it is something God rocked my world with these past two weeks).

At the Let the Nations Be Glad seminar, John Piper talked about God wanting joyful worship. That is God's ultimate purpose in creation and redemption. This joy is found only in Christ. This joy is that we are to glorify God in everything. That is what God wants. He wants worship. He deserves it.

“For my name's sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another." -Isaiah 48:9-1

If you are struggling to see the eternal joy you have in Christ or even are not sure if you have this joy...Talk to God about it. Then talk to someone else if you have questions or thoughts. God wants you to have His joy, if you are going to commit to following and worshiping Him.

as the leaves change, the Lord's faithfulness does not.

changes are happening. the colors of the leaves are becoming bright oranges and deep reds. students are spending more time doing homework because midterms are near. seven people i know got engaged within the past week. two dear friends of mine are in other countries. my brother got on a plane for europe today. and the list goes on.

throughout the changes, there are things that are the same. almost every college student i ask how they are doing still answers good or busy. i still am asked a few times a week what i will do after graduation and i still say i am not sure because there are so many possibilities. the Lord continues to bless me with free meals a few times a week. and i am still amazed at how much i am learning (not necessarily in my classes).

the biggest thing that i see being consistent is the Lord's faithfulness. i need to remind myself of this daily because of the hurt i see or hear about, worries and stress that comes, questions i have about the future, and discouragement i get from what i see in our society. 

i have been reading the book of Matthew the past few days and one of the major themes i see in the book is faith. the word is used many times from Jesus saying to one of His disciples, "O you of little faith, why do you doubt," to Jesus saying, "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." 

Jesus is saying all throughout Matthew that faith is important and we need it to live for Him. This is something I would like to work on. I encourage you to do the same. Next time you doubt yourself or God, or a situation arises that is stressful, or you are discouraged by things going on around you, PUT YOUR FAITH IN JESUS. He is more faithful than you could every imagine. When you do this, your eyes will be opened to a new way of living. It is something I am experiencing right now. Yes it is hard, but the reward is incredible.

"The kingdom of heaven is like TREASURE hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine PEARLS, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it." -Matthew 13:44-46.

My prayer is as I am learning what it means to put  my faith and hope in Jesus Christ, you will too. Talk it out with God and then with a friend. Read the Word, you will see countless times that God is faithful to His children.

Looking unto Jesus.

A girl on my staff read this essay by Spurgeon to us last week. The idea of it has been in my head ever since- look to Christ. It is Him that saves. Please read the essay and pray about it. My prayer is that your eyes would be opened more to Jesus. Our lives should be to make much of Him, not ourselves.
 
"Looking unto Jesus" -by Charles Spurgeon.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  -Hebrews 12:1-2

It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument-it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness:
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name."

colors and community.

i have been painting signs for KnuHa events this past week. one lesson i learned from all this painting is if i want to be good at painting i cannot be a perfectionist. lesson number two, i am not meant to be an art major. and lesson number three is that community is vital in my life. i came to this realization because painting is like the way a community should be. each color on its own is unique, but when you mix them together or use them in a painting they can compliment each other well and look even better than when alone. this made me think about the past two weeks. i have experienced many times how we are called to be individuals, yet live in community with one another. we are called to work with each other, encourage one another, and use the gifts we have been given to build up the body of Christ.

last week during prayer group i was incredibly encouraged by the people who came and everything that happened. the night before i was having a not so good night and felt really alone, well the Lord used my brothers and sisters (without them even knowing it probably) to bring me great joy during prayer and worship. we were able to give updates about people we prayed for during the summer and it was incredible to hear the stories. God is on the move all around the world. (we also sang this song about finding fullness of joy in the Lord, lets just say it was in my head for awhile after that). "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (psalm 16:11)

another way i experienced the body of Christ working well together is while on a leaders retreat. i saw some of the gifts of my res life staff being used. we did a low ropes course together and it was awesome to see how we worked together. it is such a blessing that we each have different strengths (and weaknesses) because we will be able to support each other well this year. during one of the challenges i became nervous because there was a huge horizontal log we had to get over that was probably 8 feet tall. i had my doubts, but with the encouragement of one another and us talking about a way to get the last person across, we were successfully able to do it.

there have been many other times these past few weeks how God has shown me what community is all about. i have learned that i CANNOT live this life alone. i need people surrounding me. i need people challenging me. i need people to pray with. i need the body. and i want to be part of the body. God has shown me that we can all use our gifts to compliment each others' gifts. we can be the body. we can live like Christ called us to live if He is our center and the head of it all.

i encourage you all to find community. seek after Christ and find other people who are doing the same thing. find people who will ask you the hard questions. find people who will pray for you. find people who you can be real with you and you can be real with. find people who you can serve. just as colors can mix together to make a beautiful painting, we can come together to be the church with Jesus as our focus.

i want to end with a thank you. thank you to my brothers and sisters that have shown me Christ's love. He is using all of you and it is soooo awesome to be part of it.  Keep doing His Kingdom work. 

(random quote of the night by my roomie taylor, "if you go without coffee for three days, that means i won't be able to smell it." she also told me she would go without something for three days because i said i should try going without coffee for three days. she is a true friend.)

a recap of CO with the BRTC.

COLORADO. could i describe this trip in one word? no. could i describe it in 100 words? no. so i will do my best to explain parts of it in a few paragraphs.

for those of you who don't know, i went on a road trip to colorado last week. it was quite the adventure that was full of joy, new experiences, times of tiredness and confusion, and lots of mountains! i did not know what to expect, but yet again God blew my mind away with how great it was. i expected to do some hiking, not shower for a few days, and have some quality conversations....but i did not expect to learn so much from my brothers and sisters that went and be amazed by the Lord's faithfulness. that is one of the most prominent things that God did- He showed me that no matter what we are going through, He is there to answer His children. we had many instances when we needed to find something (like our second tent) or wanted something (like a parking lot or to see a shooting star) and God would answer us within seconds. it was the love and faithfulness He showed us in the small things that made me realize how faithful He is to us in the big things. God spoke to me a lot on this trip and i am not going to explain it all now because it would take a long time (so lets grab coffee if you want to hear more!), but i would like to say that no matter what season in life you are in, you have the opportunity to see the Lord's faithfulness. it might be different from what you expect, but open your eyes (and mind and heart) to what the Lord has planned for you. ask and you will receive. knock and the door will be open. God is pursuing you and HE IS FAITHFUL. i feel so rejuvenated after going to colorado that i know i am ready for this next year at NWC. i am ready to be an ARD, have one last year of homework, and trust God with what will happen after this year. this was not the case months ago, but God used my time away in colorado to prepare my heart and body for what is to come.

another thing i didn't expect to experience was the feeling of being extremely small. we hiked around in rocky mountain national park, and i felt like an ant compared to the beautiful mountains. this made me think about how big our world is and how God is working in all of it. He is a big God who can move mountains (literally and metaphorically). while we were hiking we met people from estonia, texas, austin mn, and many other places. our world is full of people who are all unique and i learned that i am different from all of them. God is so creative. He made each mountain different and He made each person different. i am so happy for that. people plus mountains are a wonderful combination.

well, that is a small part of my adventure. i highly recommend you taking a road trip with friends if you ever get a chance. it will make you appreciate showers, grandma's mini van, and your bed a lot more. hopefully my next trip will be to Seattle or somewhere close to it with the blazing rebels traveling church (ask me if you want to hear the story behind this) & anyone else wanting to join.

OTHER EXCITING NEWS OF THE DAY: i got to give natalie jorde a hug, i found knowledge of the holy for a $1 at goodwill, i tried key lime ice cream with raspberries for the first time (it was delicious), and i am going to bed before before midnight (hopefully this will become a habit for school).

distraction and satisfaction.

i become distracted. 

i get caught up in the stuff i have. 

i'm tempted to put my identity where this world tells me to.

i want things. 

i try to rely on myself. 

i judge people for what they say and do. 

i envy people at times.

so what do i tell myself?

Jesus has redeemed me and forgives me.

Jesus came to give us life, and life to the full. 

Jesus is where my identity is found.

Jesus overcame the world. 

Jesus' power is made perfect in my weakness.

Jesus made me just the way I should be.

Jesus is my satisfaction.

i am not perfect and no human on this planet is. i wake up every day knowing that Jesus is my rock and redeemer, yet there are times when i struggle. i am having this realization that pursuing holiness is hard. i knew that it was before but i think because the sermon series at my church is about this, i am being confronted by it. so thank you hope cc. you are making me dig deep into what is going on in my heart and life.

i become distracted and so does every other person i know. i hate that our world is a big amusement park of distractions. there are so many "fun" things in our society that people entertain themselves with and think they are satisfied by. this is because satan knows that our flesh is easily tempted and he knows where to tempt each person differently. our flesh is the problem. we were not meant to be satisfied by this world.

i used to think getting all A's would satisfy me. it did not. i used to think having it look like everything was perfect in my life would satisfy me. it did not. i used to think people could satisfy me. they cannot. these things were all distractions in my life. distractions that were disguised as satisfactions.

people are distracted with work, technology, video games, money, drinking, partying, sex, relationships, and the list goes on. i wish i could just scream out (in the most loving, gentle way) to  people that these things will not satisfy them. some of these things can be good. our money can be used to further God's kingdom and help people, but only if we obey God with it (Pastor Steve talks about this a lot). the distractions and issues, "are symptoms of heart issues. i think Jesus is the only cure for these things," says Joel from Ascend the Hill. he is right on. people are looking for something and these distractions are because of deeper issues. people are longing. creation is groaning. we are yearning for a Savior. as i see the depravity of my own sin, i long more and more for Jesus. i trust Him as He cleanses me because i, along with every other human am sinful. Jesus is what satisfies me and gives me complete joy, just as He promised:

"as the Father has loved me, so have i loved you. now remain in my love. if you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as i have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. i have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. my command is this: love each other as i have loved you." (John 15:9-12)

if you want this joy that Jesus offers, i encourage you to seek after God. pursue him and not the distractions. talk to God. worship and obey Jesus. put your faith and trust in Him. repent, but know that you are not doing that to make Jesus love you more. He already has died on the cross for you, so receive Him as your Treasure! i become tempted in this world, so i am going to hang a sign up by my bed that says- good morning, kill sin today and do as much damage in the kingdom of darkness as you can. follow Jesus. He loves you and died to give you life to the full.  

"this world will let you down. it will turn its' back on you. it will leave you wanting and desiring more every single time. you can search far and wide for hope and satisfaction and truth and life and fulfillment, but that only comes from Jesus." -Joel Davis 

(i was searching for this song on youtube and look what i found...some NWC friends made this.)

 

here are hope cc's sermons: http://hopecc.com/sundays/sermons.html
here is an interview of Joel: http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/ascendthehillinterview1.html

pursued by the bridegroom.

At this time last year I was creating hall decorations (goodness...that seems like forever ago). These decorations had to do with my hall theme. Well, let me tell you it was quite the process for me to decide on a hall theme. It changed every two weeks (more like every two hours). Then one summer day I heard the song Captivate by Starfield. This song made me stop what I was doing and it all just clicked. The Holy Spirit used that song to give me the theme. The theme became Captivate my Heart, with the theme verse as Psalm 37:4 ( Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart). I wanted the ladies in my hall to know that their hearts are precious to God and we should be seeking after Him as He is seeking after us. Jesus wants us. Jesus rejoices over us. Jesus loves us. Jesus provides for us. Jesus delights in us. Jesus pursues us. Jesus is our Bridegroom.

When I became an RA, I heard that your hall themes tend to be a major theme in your own lives.  Looking back over the past year (especially this summer) I can see how God used my theme in my own life. He's been teaching me a lot about how He pursues us and delights in us. He is captivated by us. Captivated by me. Psalms 37:4 talks about us delighting in God, but we often times forget that God delights in us. I read the book Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge, after I decided on my hall theme. I am now rereading it this week. I am not sure about males, but I know that females were created to be pursued. The book says, "God is the pursuer of our hearts." I think that God especially delights in those who seek after Him. With that in mind, I am being taught this summer what it means to seek after God and let Him seek after my heart. It is a joyous adventure to be on! And as this is happening, I am learning what Jesus meant when He called Himself the Bridegroom in Matthew 9:15, Matthew 25:1-10, and John 3:29. 

This means that we (the Church) are the bride. I am the bride of Christ. He has come to set me free- to heal my broken heart (since all humans' hearts are broken in some way). Jesus went back to Isaiah 61 when he first began His ministry on earth. His mission was to restore and release us, including binding up our broken hearts. This passage is incredible. Christ came to do all these things for us! When we have unity with Jesus we become one with Him. Our unity with Him also gives us a new mission.

David Platt says in Radical, “The will of God is for you and me to give our lives urgently and recklessly to making the gospel and the glory of God known among all peoples, particularly those who have never even heard of Jesus.”

That is my mission. To live so that the Gospel and glory of God is made known to ALL PEOPLE. 

There are days when it is hard to pursue Christ and live only for Him. It says in Captivating, "To pursue intimacy with Christ, you will have to fight for it. You'll need to fight busyness (Martha's addiction). You'll need to fight accusations. You'll need to fight the Thief that would try to steal your Lover's gifts to you outright" I do not want to be like Martha, but like Mary (in Luke 10:38-42). She truly worshiped God. I do become busy and distracted, but Christ continues to call me back.

Lastly, "Our hearts were made to worship. It is what we do; we can't help it....Worship is what we give our hearts away to in return for a promise of Life." I have given my heart to God and I worship Him for giving me life and sending the world Jesus, our Bridegroom, and our Savior! I am going to continue to pursue and love the Lord, as He pursues me. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE BRIDEGROOM TO RETURN. Until that day, I will live for Him and worship Him because He saved me for the sake of His holy name. 

(Here is a great post about the Bride of Christ by Mike from Tenth Ave. North- Beloved Blog). 

the lyrics of this song caught my attention. it is by john mark mcmillan.

grout, sweat, my bracelet, & Jesus.

i was on my knees, bending over on the tile floor.
sweat dripping down, while my hands and nails got scratched up
tiredness started to take over my body, as my mind began to wander.
i was scrubbing the floor, one speck of grout at time
thinking about why i wasted water in a shower two hours ago.
then i glanced at my hand; and time seemed to stop.
the metal bolt on one of my bracelets caught my eye.
a bolt i put there to remind me of the women caught in the chains of sex trafficking.
the Lord then told me something as i stared at the bracelet-

this bolt is why you are sweating.
the meaning behind that bracelet is the reason you are here.
there are women who are on their knees like you, but are crying out for help.
women who are literally being beaten and forced into sex.
little girls sweating, nervously doing what their pimp forces them to do.
jillian, this discomfort you are experiencing, for a very short amount of time, is for these women.
providing them with a home is why the annex exists.
i do not want them to suffer.
they are being controlled, hurt, and manipulated.
i am here with you and i am with the women caught in the chains.
my mercy has always been the same and will never cease.
keep going, keep praying for these women, keep telling others about what is happening
and i will continue on loving. 

*********
God uses small things, like a pink bracelet I made last year, to remind me of how good He is. Yes, there are still women and children suffering, but God is just, merciful, and loving. He always has all of these attributes. I am so thankful for ministries like Source that are doing things for the people caught in trafficking. In my previous post, I mentioned how I wanted to start to do things and not just know about the issue. God is so faithful and He provided me with the opportunity to do. I thought I would just go and help Source and the women who would eventually be living at the Annex, though God wanted to help me by telling me some things while I was scrubbing the floors.

God used grout, sweat, and a bracelet to teach me about a new sense of joy we can have when we live for Him. He also used these items to remind me of the pain Jesus went through on the cross and how big of an act of love that was.

the big question....what do i do now?

disclaimer- i know i already wrote about this book and what God has been teaching me through it, but i have more to say. plus, there are many connections being made with the book and my life.

i just finished reading the hole in our gospel by richard stearns. at the end of the book he addresses this question that probably every reader has when they finish the last sentence of the book, what do i do now. i am going to be a conformist (a word i do not usually like associating with) in this situation. now that i have learned about poverty and world vision, what can i do. me- the girl sitting in a comfy chair in her parent's big home. the one who just ate her third meal for the day. the person who was able to spend the day at the water park, while getting paid. what can jillian do about these issues?

the answer- turn to Jesus. he is everything i need, which means he is the answer to this question. i am going to pray a lot this summer about finding things to do. i am also going to be active in learning about the injustices and poverty in this world, but i am going to start to do things for them. i am not sure what, but God knows.

speaking of being informed about the issues, this also has to do with a movie i just watched last night, very young girls. i would recommend this movie to people who want an inside look into the world of sex trafficking, from being trapped in it to having to fighting the temptations as you get out. the movie- it looks at, "the work of a former sexually exploited youth-turned-activist named Rachel Lloyd, who started the New York City organization GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services) to help victimized young women escape their pimps and find another way of life." the hardship and inhuman things some of these women (well girls since the average age of entry is 13) have to go through is horrifying. i was disgusted by what some of these men do and how they deceive them. satan is working so hard to continue to grow the sex trafficking industry. he uses the pimps and johns to fool these girls into thinking they are loved and have no where else to go. GEMS and other organizations (like Breaking Free in St. Paul) are working to help these women get out and understand they were not created to be a prostitute.

after reading the hole in our gospel and seeing this movie, i have a bigger fire in my belly to do something. right now, i will begin with prayer and getting the word out there. people need to know and many do not think that this is happening in their towns. this fire in me started when i wrote a paper in comp class one and half years ago about sex trafficking in the twin cities. i thought i would just write the paper, little did i know that God had a bigger plan. he continues to show me that i can make a difference.

i will not be overwhelmed by this issue and i will give it to Jesus. i would ask that you do the same. do not be overwhelmed with all the statistics we see about sex trafficking or other injustices. be confident in Christ. his love will not fail and he will return for his bride.  
oh what a glorious day that will be. 

sunny summers on the swing.

summer has begun.

the sun is shining. 
the swings are swinging. 
the tennis ball is bouncing. 
the hikers are hiking. 
the bonfires are burning. 
the campers are camping. 
the water is splashing.
and the people are smiling. 

today started off bad for a few reasons, but because of all the things i mentioned above it ended up to be a great day and will be a fabulous weekend. i was able to play tennis and go to the park with the little boy i nanny. the first lesson i learned was, don't forget the sunscreen (thank goodness i live close to the tennis courts). the second lesson was, pick wisely what courts you go to. we went to ones that had no nets. it ended up to be a blessing though because he is 8 years old and still learning how to play. we didn't have to worry about hitting the ball in the net. it was a fun time. the third thing i learned was a reminder of how much i love swinging. i could swing for hours. something kevin said was, "you know what's great about swinging when it's hot outside, it cools you down. you can feel the breeze on both sides of you." the feeling of the breeze on my face is just pure bliss (especially after playing tennis). no matter if there is a lot of wind or not, when you are swinging the breeze is always there.

this made me think of God's love. when we sit in his swing of life for us, His love is always there and is a tangible thing. when we trust enough in Him to sit in his swing, not stay standing in our own plan, then we will feel His love that is immeasurable. when i am standing next to a swing i cannot always feel the breeze, but when i sit down and start swinging i can definitely feel the refreshing blow against my face. God's love is always there, we just have to choose whether to stay standing in our plan or sit down in God's plan to sometimes know it is there. when we sit in the swing of God's plan, we too will be refreshed and know that He has it all under control.

thank you Jesus, for your love that is so refreshing and like nothing else. And thank you for sunshine and swings. 

i now get to spend a night in a tent with some wonderful sisters in Christ and then spend a day in God's creation with them. tis pure joy.

read. think. pray. trust.

"To say that God is omniscient is to say that He possesses perfect knowledge and therefore has no need to learn. But it is more: it is to say that God has never learned and cannot learn."

"And to us who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope that is set before us in the gospel, how unutterably sweet is the knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows us completely. No talebearer can inform on us, no enemy can make an accusation stick; no forgotten skeleton can come tumbling out of some hidden closet to abash us and expose our past; no unsuspected weakness in our characters can come to light to turn God away from us, since He knew us utterly before we knew Him and called us to Himself in the full knowledge of everything that was against us."

"Without the creation, the wisdom of God would have remained forever locked in the boundless abyss of the divine nature. God brought His creatures into being that He might enjoy them and they rejoice in Him. ”And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”"

"The operation of the gospel, the new birth, the coming of the divine Spirit into human nature, the ultimate overthrow of evil, and the final establishment of Christ’s righteous kingdom - all these have flowed and do flow out of God’s infinite fullness of wisdom."

"It is vitally important that we hold the truth of God’s infinite wisdom as a tenet of our creed; but this is not enough. We must by the exercise of faith and by prayer bring it into the practical world of our day-by-day experience."

"With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures."

these are all quotes from A.W. Tozer.
how does this all relate to my life? it does in many different ways. by reading the chapters about God's wisdom and His divine omniscience in Knowledge of the Holy, i have been comforted in giving God control of my life. the last quote is one that i can relate with for a couple of reasons. first, i am a planner. i like planning things from events to what i will be doing in the future. last year the Lord specifically told me to not have expectations with the big and little things. i am continually working at this. that is why I am putting faith in the wisdom of God. He has a plan and i want that plan to be what happens in my life, even if that means me not planning. the second reason i can relate to this quote is because of the last part, "we are the most favored of all creatures." i went to a high school where many people disagreed with what i believed. there are people who do not understand that we are different from other creatures. we are favored, given rule, and have souls. God desires good for all of His creation, but He wants us, humans, to live the life that He has planned for us. He loves us and He knows everything about us, which is why He has a divine omniscience. in conclusion, i now am learning to TRUST in God. this is something that i must work at each day because faith is not something we can just talk about, rather something we do.

learning about the hole.

i'm learning something as i read the book, the hole in our gospel by richard stearns (aka...the president of world vision in the USA). i'm learning the difference between feeling guilty and feeling convicted. yesterday i went to dunn bros with the little boy i nanny, put money in savings at the bank, went out to eat with my mom and some friends, and then played tennis with some great friends. part of me wants to feel guilty because of the abundance of money that is available to me and the enjoyment i had. the other part of me feels convicted to seek after the lord in what to do about this and what i am reading about in the book. the lord does give us blessings, but i think what we do with those blessings needs to be thought about. i do not want to help people, do missions, or give out of guilt. i want to do it because that is what jesus did and tells the church to do. 

i am learning from the book all about the problems in the world- disease, lack of education, lack of clean water, war, poverty, trafficking, ect. there is a part of the gospel people have missed- our ignorance of the poverty and injustice in the world. not all jesus followers have missed this, but many people have. stearns addresses how many people have missed that christ calls us to do something about the poverty and injustice.

the beautiful thing is, we can make a difference.

last night i read utmost for his highest. this connects in my mind so go with me on this. oswald chambers said, "If I am a friend of Jesus, I must deliberately and carefully lay down my life for Him. It is a difficult thing to do, and thank God that it is. Salvation is easy for us, because it cost God so much. But the exhibiting of salvation in my life is difficult. God saves a person, fills him with the Holy Spirit, and then says, in effect, “Now you work it out in your life, and be faithful to Me, even though the nature of everything around you is to cause you to be unfaithful.” And Jesus says to us, “. . . I have called you friends. . . .” Remain faithful to your Friend, and remember that His honor is at stake in your bodily life." http://utmost.org/will-you-lay-down-your-life/

jesus did NOT come to condemn the world (John 12:47). there is no condemnation in christ jesus (Romans 8:1). satan on the other hand is KNOWN for accusing the brethren (Rev 12:10).

conviction can motivate us to do something. guilt cannot. conviction is when i am convinced that something needs to happen. well, i am convinced that we need to do everything in love of others and god. i am convinced that there are problems in the world and we need to do something about them. the love christ showed while on earth and right now should be what motivates me to do something about the (dying) world we live in, and it does.  

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. . . . I have called you friends . . . -John 15:13, 15

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.” -Luke 9:23-27

patience is a virtue...right?

http://francineannabelle.tumblr.com/

This is a post of me telling you why Jesus is so good.

Last night I told some of my friends that I needed prayer for patience in different areas of my life - including learning how to wait for things (I am anxious about) and how to be patient in my relationships with the people in my life. The ironic thing is, I probably told my friend Sarah that, 'patience is a virtue' at least 25 times this past school year. I thought I understood patience, until now when I seem to be lacking it.

Now, fast-forward 12 hours. This morning when I woke up I decided to do some Bible reading. I am going through this Bible reading plan my professor gave us.

For today, it said to read 1 Corinthians 13.

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

This love is the agape love that God gives us and we should be showing it to people. Patience is the first characteristic of this kind of love that Paul is describing, so I am guessing it is rather important. 

I pray that God continues to give me more insight on how to be patient and learn to wait upon Him with a patient heart (yes, I know when you ask for something like this God doesn't just give a person patience, but times to practice it. That is why I am expecting this to be hard).

I love how the Lord knows exactly what we need. That is why He is in control and I praise Him for that.

GOSPEL.

 God. Our. Sins. Paying. Everyone. Life. 

the title. God knows what we need.

I had been waiting to write about the title of my entire blog until I could put into words what it meant. Well, after what I went through during the past 2 days I now can explain it. As I sip on my coffee, listening to the song With Everything, I will tell you what "Everything" means to me.

This is a word that has always made me think hard about my life, cry at times, and wonder what does it really mean. Everything literally means- all, total, completely...or the opposite of nothing; however, in my life it has more weight to the meaning. There are two parts to what I mean. First, my entire life should be glorifying to God, not just part of my life, but all of it (everything). Secondly, everything worth living for is about Jesus. I am learning to give up my flesh for what the Lord has planned, for making everything in my life about having a relationship with Jesus. This is hard. I do not mean it is impossible, but in our world today there are so many temptations and satan has done a great job at getting to our culture. This is why I want to lay down my desires for what God has planned. He is continually showing me that He has good planned for my life.

This blog is going to be about everything. Me learning to give up everything I am for Jesus. Me learning to glorify God with everything that I am because HE IS EVERYTHING. I will talk about how God teaches me, what challenges I experience, the good and the bad, and how with everything I want to praise His great name.

“Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We've built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.
So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.
God of all days,
Glorious in all of Your ways.
Your majesty, the wonder and grace,
In the light of Your name.
With everything,
With everything,
We will shout for your glory.”

You might ask, 'what does this have to do with the past 36 hours?' There are five things that happened that God was telling me that He knows what I need and that is why I should praise Him with everything. These five things showed me that everything I do should be out of love for God because of how much He loves me. First, I received an email from my soul sister who is in Malawi. This was something I was so excited to get because I wanted to hear her stories and stay connected with her this summer. Second, I was able to go to Northwestern to hang out with friends, pray with them and be encouraged. This community of people is one that God is using to influence me a lot this summer. I needed confidence for something happening this weekend and that is what God told one of the girls to talk about, and then the people that were needing this were prayed for. God knows what we need! The third thing that that happened was I watched the movie Furious Love. This is definitely worth 90 minutes of your life. I am still processing what I saw, but I was able to see a visual example of the power of God’s love for His creation. We should not be fearful because God’s love will not fail us, though it might be different than we think. One line from the movie that really stuck out to me was, “Jesus said, ‘I am the truth.’ Truth is not a teaching. Truth is a person.” That is what the world needs- Jesus.  The fourth thing that happened was at the last day of my internship. The Lord showed me how He is mercy. As I was sitting at my desk, getting frustrated with the computer because it was not working, the man who was sitting at the desk across from mine was talking on the phone to a friend. The Lord used this conversation they had to show me how our faith requires action and having a relationship with Christ is going to require everything we have. Both people on the phone had been struggling financially, and the man in the office had just prayed last month asking God to provide for him and his wife. The Lord did, even though he was still without a job. As the conversation went longer, I was still consumed by my computer, but when the guy behind me started crying I began to realize God was teaching them something and me something. This guy on other end of the phone was overwhelmed with doubt in the Lord and the guy in my office wanted to do all that he could to tell and show him that God is faithful. He then told him that he was going to pray and talk with his wife about giving financially to support this other guy. Wow. This guy sitting next to me was trusting in the Lord so much that he wanted to help his brother even though he was still struggling, and it was so encouraging to me. There are many passages in the Bible that talk about the suffering Christians will go through, but we need rejoice in those because they are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed to us. Trusting in God is an action, it is not something we can just say we do. Lastly, after my internship I wasn't sure what I was going to do last night. I asked a bunch of my friends if they could hang out and none of them could. I began to think, ‘okay I guess this means it is going to be a Jillian night- a night for me to just be and relax, maybe read a book or something.’ Then I got a text back from Kauline. She said she could go on a walk and I thought, ‘Awesome, now I can talk to her about this question I had wanting to ask her.’ I drove to her house and we began our walk. Well, the conversation was going to be what the Lord wanted us to talk about, not what I wanted to talk about. The Lord spoke through her and focused our conversation about things I needed to hear. It was a time for me to lay down my wanting for what the Lord had planned. God knew I needed to talk with Kauline about leading a Bible Study, how to love people who disagree with me, and other things...not the question I had for her. I also was able to talk with her, Cody, and Jon about doing a Bible Study. This gave me confidence in Christ, which was prayed for the night before.

The past two days I have learned what it means in Romans 8 when Paul talks about living life through the Spirit. The Lord knows what His children need and that was so evident to me. It was also clear how the Spirit helps us in our weakness and that people and creation are groaning for Jesus to return (even if they don't know it). We are to listen to God because He loves us so much. I am truly blessed and I want to continue to learn what it means to have all of me, everything I am, follow Jesus. He is worthy.

change.

Things are changing. I am realizing this now that my roommate from freshmen year is now married, this could be my last summer at home, and my close friend is in Malawi (something we talked about wanting to do years ago). Despite the changes in life, God NEVER changes. He is constant- an all consuming fire that is jealous for us. My God is infinite, powerful, and full of grace.

As I am reading The Knowledge of the Holy, I am learning so much about the nature of God. Today's chapter was The Immutability of God. God will always be the same divine, holy, loving God that He always has been. Humans, including myself, change their mind and attitude about things every day, but God does not. A.W. Tozer says, "God never changes moods or cools off in His affections or loses enthusiasm. His attitude toward sin is now the same as it was when He drove out the sinful man from the eastward garden, and His attitude toward the sinner the same as when He stretched forth His hand and cried, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 

Wow. God has always hated sin and loved His creation. It is also an AWEsome thing to know that, "Today, this moment, He feels toward His creatures, toward babies, toward the sick, the fallen, the sinful, exactly as He did when He sent His only-begotten Son into the world to die for mankind." 

When Jesus came to die for ours sins, that was an act of love. That same love is given to us today! Praise the Lord.

 Verses about the immutability of God: 1 Samuel 15:29, Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8, James 1:17.

rain that teaches.

Rain, rain go away. Come again another day. 

I'm sitting in my cabin, as everyone else is sleeping. The cabin is silent, except for the pouring rain. Rain is something I have a love/hate relationship with. I love rain because it makes things grow & green, it is calming, it puts life back into things, & it is fun to dance in (I'm thinking of Megan T. right now). I (strongly) dislike rain because being in the sun at the cabin is great & rain prevented me from going to the woods with my camera, Bible, book, & journal like I was going to do this afternoon. I hope there's no rain tomorrow.

Since I can't be looking at the stars like I was hoping to (the stars are hard to see in the suburbs), I have decided to write about what is going on in my life and mind right now. Basically, God is rocking my world with a multitude of things.

First, because of the rain I have spent a lot time today reading this guy's (Matthew) blog from the World Race (see my Options blog). I emailed the organization to get more information about the mission trip and he emailed me back with info and a link to his blog since he just returned from the human trafficking trip I wanted to know more about. Reading his blog has made me question what I am doing with my life? I now am really considering doing the WR next year after I graduate; however, more than that I am questioning what am I doing right now? How do I live all out for Jesus while I am at home this summer and at NWC next year?

Well what has come to my mind is, I am learning to follow Christ each and every day. I am learning what it means to have faith. If I do not have faith in Christ in the small things (at home and school), how can I expect to have faith in the big things (like going on a year trip all around the world)? Some things I have learned this past week has also helped me get the answer.

God has shown me how INCREDIBLE He is this past week. I just finished reading The Seven Longings of the Human Heart by Mike Bickle, and it opened my eyes to who God has made us to be. We were not created to be fulfilled by this world. We were created to be enjoyed by God, to be great, to be wholehearted, to have intimacy without shame, to be beautiful, to be fascinated, and to make a deep and lasting impact. The Lord fulfills each of these longings that we have.

Now, back to my original question...what am I doing? Well, what I can do right now is tell other people about this. There are so many people I know who are searching to fulfill these longings in places that are not the Truth (JESUS). People need to hear that they are loved and God wants to have a relationship with them (especially since He created them).

Another way I am learning is through random other things. This week I watched the Basic videos by Francis Chan and the Lord used that to put in simple terms what it means to follow Christ. To follow Christ is to do what He says. It is not some crazy religion, it is putting our faith in Him and what He says. I also have learned from some of my brothers and sisters what it means to use prayer to encourage one another. Prayer is a powerful thing and I learned how much the Lord delights in HIS CHILDREN. At church two weeks ago Pastor Paul told the congregation what it would look like to talk to our friends or people around us as if they were children of God. Well, while praying with some friends this week, God showed me how I have that type of community around me. I am God's daughter, His workmanship, His creation, and HE DELIGHTS IN ME. Not only that, but He loves ALL of His people. In fact, He is JEALOUS for us. When you follow Christ, it is a sacrifice, but that is what we are called to do. Christ came to establish a new law, one that would save us when we believe in Him. Read Hebrews 10-THIS IS LOVE.  Our sin and lawless acts, He will no longer remember (Hebrews 10:17). 

"It takes God, to love God." Bickle said this in his book. As humans we do not have the capacity to love God, without Him. I want to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37-40) because of the sacrifice of Christ that is described in Hebrews 10. Well, it is only God who can help me do this. It takes me learning from Jesus how to love God and it takes me coming to the cross every day with what I am struggling with. My love for the Lord is increasing because I am learning the freedom and peace that I have from God. Philippians 4:4-8.  

So as the rain is coming down hard on the cabin, I also sense the Lord raining down showers of love and experiences to know Him better in my own life. Father, I pray that you would reign over this world and people would see that and souls would be saved. Jesus, RAIN DOWN.

(i wrote this 24 hours ago. i didn't have internet so i couldn't post it until now).

the dance.

At CHC this morning, the sermon was about the Divine Dance of the Trinity. Pastor Peter quoted C.S. Lewis,

“In Christianity God is not a static thing…but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a kind of drama. Almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance.”

I want to be part of this dance. God is a consuming fire, something that is life and gives life. Tim Keller, in King's Cross, said, "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are pouring love and joy and adoration into the other, each one serving the other. . . . That’s the dance."

Jesus wants us to be part of this dance because of how much he LOVES us. To do this, we must be centered on others and not ourselves, like each member of the Trinity is. Last week Pastor Paul preached about Jesus' prayer in John 17. He focused on unity and 7 things we can do to have oneness with each other, just as the Trinity is one. Here is a link to the sermons- Chapel Hill Church sermons.

Another great Keller quote is, "He must have created us not to get joy but to give it. He must have created us to invite us into the dance, to say: If you glorify me, if you center your life on me, if you find me beautiful for who I am in myself, the you will step into the dance, which is what you are made for. You are made not just to believe in me or to be spiritual in some general way, not just to pray and get a bit of inspiration when things are tough. You are made to center everything in your life on me, to think of everything in terms of your relationship to me. To serve me unconditionally. That’s where you’ll find your joy. That’s what the dance is about." 

I want to be part of this dance. I am constantly learning to center everything I am on Jesus because that is where my true joy will come from. He loves us, He is jealous for us, and He wants us to be centered around Him!  

to do. (49)

I was coloring today with Fin, the little boy I babysit, and I decided to make a to do list for this summer, instead of color a picture. I have 72 days to do the 49 things on the list (it could probably be more, but the boys had to go to bed).

#42

the adventure list:

1. Wake up early and drive somewhere awesome to see the sunrise with Danielle and whoever else wants to come (coffee will be present).

2. Star gaze with Megan and Cody.

3. Go to Hannah's strawberry farm with Chaney (aka....pig out on strawbs).

4. Make the scones that Becca made for our staff meeting.

5. Cook from Megan's cookbook with Megan.

6. Go swing dancing.

7. Visit Source (multiple times).

8. Go camping.

9. Make homemade coffee ice cream.

10. Photo adventure with Katie.

11. Talk to Pastor Paul.

12. Write letters.

13. Play tennis with Kauline and anyone else who wants to play.

14. Hang out with Rachel and Kenzie.

15. Go to Carter's baseball game.

16. Create fun signs for door.

17. Make headbands.

18. Photo shoot with one of the senior girls.

19. Paint with coffee.

20. Perfect the art of making iced coffee and coolers.

21. Create more picture words.

22. Make hobo dinners over bonfire.

23. Read...and read some more.

24. Learn to play a song on the guitar.

25. Declutter my room = make trip to goodwill.

26. Tie-dye. 

27. Visit Lake Beauty Bible Camp.

28. Go to a movie in the park.

29. Climb a mountain (or something similar that is in MN).

30. Make homemade chai tea.

31. Go on bike ride with my parents.

32. Do chalk art with Betsy and Danielle.

33. Show mom and dad The Annex (and Source).

34. Pray about next year's staff and after graduation.

35. Go on runs/walks with Jesus in Lebanon Park.

36. Go downtown with Beth, Molly, Niccole.

37. Make rhubarb crisp.

38. Cook meal with my brothers.

39. Go blotting with Cody and ???.

40. Have a dinner party (need to come up with a theme).

41. Knit a headband or hat.

42. Take a picture like the one above.

43. Finish Narnia movies with mom.

44. Go to a farmer's market.

45. Tube down a river.

46. Take the boys I nanny on a canoe ride.

47. See Switchfoot and Lecrae at Sonshine for $15.

48. Make a visit to The Beat coffeehouse.

49. In the words of one of my soul sisters, "Live life, and let life live!"  

Let me know if you want to join me for any of these! I will now be able to see how many of these I actually do before July 31st, when I go back to school.

I LIKE LIFE. IT IS FULL OF ADVENTURE AND JOY! And I thank Jesus for that joy :)

options

I  like options, but sometimes they can be overwhelming.
Now that my second year of college is done and I only have one more to go, I am starting to think about what to do after I graduate next May. Here are my options so far:

1. Live at the Annex. This is an apartment connected with Source (a ministry in Minneapolis that I did a mission trip with this spring). The apartment is for women who have gotten out of sex trafficking and other women who want to be role models for these women. http://sourcemn.org/index.htm
2. Go on a World Race trip through Adventures in Missions. They have many different trips including multiple 11 month trips that go to 11 countries and a 4 month trip that goes to a few different places and focuses on human trafficking. http://www.theworldrace.org/
3. Apply for an internship through World Vision that is in Washington. There is a pretty cool story about how I found this internship.
4. Any other missions opportunity/trip....Africa is on my heart.
5. I am sure other options will come up....summer camp counselor, travel to New Zealand or Greece, other jobs, etc.

All of these options seem blissful to me. Since I am graduating early, I want to go out and do missions and experience this beautiful world God has created. I do not feel called to staying in Minnesota, though I would love to live at the Annex because it is something I completely support and it is a huge missions opportunity in my own city.

I will be praying for the next year about these options and thankfully won't have to be deciding anything for months down the road. I would appreciate if you (whoever you are that reads this) would be praying for me about this too. I want my decision to be following God's plan and not what this world or my head tells me to do.

I like options because they all have their pros and cons, though all of these seem WONDERFUL. I think options make LIFE an adventure. My goal is to not worry about this decision because God's got it. Jesus even commanded His followers not to worry in the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:28-34