options

I  like options, but sometimes they can be overwhelming.
Now that my second year of college is done and I only have one more to go, I am starting to think about what to do after I graduate next May. Here are my options so far:

1. Live at the Annex. This is an apartment connected with Source (a ministry in Minneapolis that I did a mission trip with this spring). The apartment is for women who have gotten out of sex trafficking and other women who want to be role models for these women. http://sourcemn.org/index.htm
2. Go on a World Race trip through Adventures in Missions. They have many different trips including multiple 11 month trips that go to 11 countries and a 4 month trip that goes to a few different places and focuses on human trafficking. http://www.theworldrace.org/
3. Apply for an internship through World Vision that is in Washington. There is a pretty cool story about how I found this internship.
4. Any other missions opportunity/trip....Africa is on my heart.
5. I am sure other options will come up....summer camp counselor, travel to New Zealand or Greece, other jobs, etc.

All of these options seem blissful to me. Since I am graduating early, I want to go out and do missions and experience this beautiful world God has created. I do not feel called to staying in Minnesota, though I would love to live at the Annex because it is something I completely support and it is a huge missions opportunity in my own city.

I will be praying for the next year about these options and thankfully won't have to be deciding anything for months down the road. I would appreciate if you (whoever you are that reads this) would be praying for me about this too. I want my decision to be following God's plan and not what this world or my head tells me to do.

I like options because they all have their pros and cons, though all of these seem WONDERFUL. I think options make LIFE an adventure. My goal is to not worry about this decision because God's got it. Jesus even commanded His followers not to worry in the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:28-34

THINK eternal.

Today in chapel the president of SMF, Andrew Abel, talked about having an eternal perspective in mind. This to me is something that is so challenging to do here on earth. I wish I could say that I am always focused on the Lord and heaven, but I am not.

My challenge for myself this week is to not let the things of the world get to me. I do not want to only focus on the busyness, homework, stress, selfish thoughts, boys, what other people are struggling with, ect. I want to focus on Jesus. When I do that, all the other things seem to come into perspective.

Eternal is- forever, always, never ending.

God's love = eternal.

Jesus' death on the cross is so we could be in eternity with Him.

I am so excited for that day. For that day when Christ will come back. I want my time here on earth, which is short according to James 4, to be focused on what the Lord is doing. I want to see the Lord in the big and the small. He works in such mysterious ways and I love it.

"By the time we know a problem exists, God has already been working on it and his solution is on the way." --John Piper.

7 long days in 2 worlds.

I am normally not as honest with people as I should be. I tend to put on a mask of having everything together. Well, honestly, I don't. I am going to write what is on my heart. My heart hurts and longs to be with my Savior. It hurts and wants the pain to go away. It hurts for the people who are suffering. It hurts because of the world we live. It hurts because I am weak. It hurts because God is refining me.

My heart is also filled with joy because of what is going on in my life. It is filled with joy because I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My life is not perfect, but in my weakness, Christ's power is made perfect

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" - 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

My heart is filled with joy because I am unbelievably blessed by my friends and family that God has given me. It also is full of joy because I am alive and have so many amazing things to look forward to. These writings will be about the hurt and joy my life is full of. 

Seven days ago I was writing a near 60 page plan book for one of my PR classes. If someone were to tell me what I was going to go through during the next week, I would have laughed at them. 

The past 7 days have been some of the longest, hardest, most thought-provoking seven days of my life.

Why? Many reasons. 

One, that is what printing off over 70 pages of a paper and project does to you. Two, my Bible became  dusty. Three, chapel was powerful over the past. Four, good and intense conversations with friends happened. 

My life is becoming harder as the days go on. I am caught in these two worlds. One world is where I want what this world wants. I become jealous, I compare, I worry and become stressed, and do some many other things I was not created to focus on. Then this other world I am caught in is one that makes me feel alive. It is one where I ask the Lord questions, talk about real issues, listen and I mean truly listen to people, have to rely on the Lord, and look at life as a gift. These two realities are conflicting because that is the world we live in- a fallen one. My life is full of hope, but it is also full of sin. I was talking to my friend last week and she was talking about how much she hated sin. Until, this weekend I had never looked at it like that. I hate sin, too. Sin makes me feel useless, hurt, not who I am supposed to be, average, lonely, and so much more.

Though, there is good news- we were created for good. This is something that I have to remind myself of because there are times when I think that all this world has to offer is what I see in our culture today. We were created to glorify God in all that we do and I know that I cannot do that without Jesus Christ living in me. My prayer is that the people I know would realize how desperate they are in need of Savior. God came to save us. He did not come to just be a good person and obey His Father. He came to die and rise again for this broken world. There are so many people who are not going to be in heaven because they do not understand this. They do not understand what it means to live for Jesus and have a personal relationship with Him. Sin has taken over this world and it is something that I know we cannot just confess. We have to ask the Lord to help us overcome it. Jesus has overcome it all, but without His help it will not be gone from our lives. If I were to believe in something else, I would not have hope. I would not be able to see my loved ones again after I die. And I would not be able to have an eternal purpose. 

The past 7 days have made me wonder a lot about my sins. My reality that is I am in need of Savior. I am in need of a God who loves me despite my faults. He loves me and no lie in the world or my head can stop that love. 

Jesus, I thank you for your love. It will not let go of me. It has overcome death. Jesus, Your love is strong.