Wednesday, June 29, 2011

the big question....what do i do now?

disclaimer- i know i already wrote about this book and what God has been teaching me through it, but i have more to say. plus, there are many connections being made with the book and my life.

i just finished reading the hole in our gospel by richard stearns. at the end of the book he addresses this question that probably every reader has when they finish the last sentence of the book, what do i do now. i am going to be a conformist (a word i do not usually like associating with) in this situation. now that i have learned about poverty and world vision, what can i do. me- the girl sitting in a comfy chair in her parent's big home. the one who just ate her third meal for the day. the person who was able to spend the day at the water park, while getting paid. what can jillian do about these issues?

the answer- turn to Jesus. he is everything i need, which means he is the answer to this question. i am going to pray a lot this summer about finding things to do. i am also going to be active in learning about the injustices and poverty in this world, but i am going to start to do things for them. i am not sure what, but God knows.

speaking of being informed about the issues, this also has to do with a movie i just watched last night, very young girls. i would recommend this movie to people who want an inside look into the world of sex trafficking, from being trapped in it to having to fighting the temptations as you get out. the movie- it looks at, "the work of a former sexually exploited youth-turned-activist named Rachel Lloyd, who started the New York City organization GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services) to help victimized young women escape their pimps and find another way of life." the hardship and inhuman things some of these women (well girls since the average age of entry is 13) have to go through is horrifying. i was disgusted by what some of these men do and how they deceive them. satan is working so hard to continue to grow the sex trafficking industry. he uses the pimps and johns to fool these girls into thinking they are loved and have no where else to go. GEMS and other organizations (like Breaking Free in St. Paul) are working to help these women get out and understand they were not created to be a prostitute.

after reading the hole in our gospel and seeing this movie, i have a bigger fire in my belly to do something. right now, i will begin with prayer and getting the word out there. people need to know and many do not think that this is happening in their towns. this fire in me started when i wrote a paper in comp class one and half years ago about sex trafficking in the twin cities. i thought i would just write the paper, little did i know that God had a bigger plan. he continues to show me that i can make a difference.

i will not be overwhelmed by this issue and i will give it to Jesus. i would ask that you do the same. do not be overwhelmed with all the statistics we see about sex trafficking or other injustices. be confident in Christ. his love will not fail and he will return for his bride.  
oh what a glorious day that will be. 

Friday, June 24, 2011

sunny summers on the swing.

summer has begun.

the sun is shining. 
the swings are swinging. 
the tennis ball is bouncing. 
the hikers are hiking. 
the bonfires are burning. 
the campers are camping. 
the water is splashing.
and the people are smiling. 

today started off bad for a few reasons, but because of all the things i mentioned above it ended up to be a great day and will be a fabulous weekend. i was able to play tennis and go to the park with the little boy i nanny. the first lesson i learned was, don't forget the sunscreen (thank goodness i live close to the tennis courts). the second lesson was, pick wisely what courts you go to. we went to ones that had no nets. it ended up to be a blessing though because he is 8 years old and still learning how to play. we didn't have to worry about hitting the ball in the net. it was a fun time. the third thing i learned was a reminder of how much i love swinging. i could swing for hours. something kevin said was, "you know what's great about swinging when it's hot outside, it cools you down. you can feel the breeze on both sides of you." the feeling of the breeze on my face is just pure bliss (especially after playing tennis). no matter if there is a lot of wind or not, when you are swinging the breeze is always there.

this made me think of God's love. when we sit in his swing of life for us, His love is always there and is a tangible thing. when we trust enough in Him to sit in his swing, not stay standing in our own plan, then we will feel His love that is immeasurable. when i am standing next to a swing i cannot always feel the breeze, but when i sit down and start swinging i can definitely feel the refreshing blow against my face. God's love is always there, we just have to choose whether to stay standing in our plan or sit down in God's plan to sometimes know it is there. when we sit in the swing of God's plan, we too will be refreshed and know that He has it all under control.

thank you Jesus, for your love that is so refreshing and like nothing else. And thank you for sunshine and swings. 

i now get to spend a night in a tent with some wonderful sisters in Christ and then spend a day in God's creation with them. tis pure joy.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

read. think. pray. trust.

"To say that God is omniscient is to say that He possesses perfect knowledge and therefore has no need to learn. But it is more: it is to say that God has never learned and cannot learn."

"And to us who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope that is set before us in the gospel, how unutterably sweet is the knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows us completely. No talebearer can inform on us, no enemy can make an accusation stick; no forgotten skeleton can come tumbling out of some hidden closet to abash us and expose our past; no unsuspected weakness in our characters can come to light to turn God away from us, since He knew us utterly before we knew Him and called us to Himself in the full knowledge of everything that was against us."

"Without the creation, the wisdom of God would have remained forever locked in the boundless abyss of the divine nature. God brought His creatures into being that He might enjoy them and they rejoice in Him. ”And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”"

"The operation of the gospel, the new birth, the coming of the divine Spirit into human nature, the ultimate overthrow of evil, and the final establishment of Christ’s righteous kingdom - all these have flowed and do flow out of God’s infinite fullness of wisdom."

"It is vitally important that we hold the truth of God’s infinite wisdom as a tenet of our creed; but this is not enough. We must by the exercise of faith and by prayer bring it into the practical world of our day-by-day experience."

"With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures."

these are all quotes from A.W. Tozer.
how does this all relate to my life? it does in many different ways. by reading the chapters about God's wisdom and His divine omniscience in Knowledge of the Holy, i have been comforted in giving God control of my life. the last quote is one that i can relate with for a couple of reasons. first, i am a planner. i like planning things from events to what i will be doing in the future. last year the Lord specifically told me to not have expectations with the big and little things. i am continually working at this. that is why I am putting faith in the wisdom of God. He has a plan and i want that plan to be what happens in my life, even if that means me not planning. the second reason i can relate to this quote is because of the last part, "we are the most favored of all creatures." i went to a high school where many people disagreed with what i believed. there are people who do not understand that we are different from other creatures. we are favored, given rule, and have souls. God desires good for all of His creation, but He wants us, humans, to live the life that He has planned for us. He loves us and He knows everything about us, which is why He has a divine omniscience. in conclusion, i now am learning to TRUST in God. this is something that i must work at each day because faith is not something we can just talk about, rather something we do.

Friday, June 17, 2011

learning about the hole.


i'm learning something as i read the book, the hole in our gospel by richard stearns (aka...the president of world vision in the USA). i'm learning the difference between feeling guilty and feeling convicted. yesterday i went to dunn bros with the little boy i nanny, put money in savings at the bank, went out to eat with my mom and some friends, and then played tennis with some great friends. part of me wants to feel guilty because of the abundance of money that is available to me and the enjoyment i had. the other part of me feels convicted to seek after the lord in what to do about this and what i am reading about in the book. the lord does give us blessings, but i think what we do with those blessings needs to be thought about. i do not want to help people, do missions, or give out of guilt. i want to do it because that is what jesus did and tells the church to do. 

i am learning from the book all about the problems in the world- disease, lack of education, lack of clean water, war, poverty, trafficking, ect. there is a part of the gospel people have missed- our ignorance of the poverty and injustice in the world. not all jesus followers have missed this, but many people have. stearns addresses how many people have missed that christ calls us to do something about the poverty and injustice.

the beautiful thing is, we can make a difference.

last night i read utmost for his highest. this connects in my mind so go with me on this. oswald chambers said, "If I am a friend of Jesus, I must deliberately and carefully lay down my life for Him. It is a difficult thing to do, and thank God that it is. Salvation is easy for us, because it cost God so much. But the exhibiting of salvation in my life is difficult. God saves a person, fills him with the Holy Spirit, and then says, in effect, “Now you work it out in your life, and be faithful to Me, even though the nature of everything around you is to cause you to be unfaithful.” And Jesus says to us, “. . . I have called you friends. . . .” Remain faithful to your Friend, and remember that His honor is at stake in your bodily life." http://utmost.org/will-you-lay-down-your-life/

jesus did NOT come to condemn the world (John 12:47). there is no condemnation in christ jesus (Romans 8:1). satan on the other hand is KNOWN for accusing the brethren (Rev 12:10).

conviction can motivate us to do something. guilt cannot. conviction is when i am convinced that something needs to happen. well, i am convinced that we need to do everything in love of others and god. i am convinced that there are problems in the world and we need to do something about them. the love christ showed while on earth and right now should be what motivates me to do something about the (dying) world we live in, and it does.  

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. . . . I have called you friends . . . -John 15:13, 15

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.” -Luke 9:23-27

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

patience is a virtue...right?

http://francineannabelle.tumblr.com/

This is a post of me telling you why Jesus is so good.

Last night I told some of my friends that I needed prayer for patience in different areas of my life - including learning how to wait for things (I am anxious about) and how to be patient in my relationships with the people in my life. The ironic thing is, I probably told my friend Sarah that, 'patience is a virtue' at least 25 times this past school year. I thought I understood patience, until now when I seem to be lacking it.

Now, fast-forward 12 hours. This morning when I woke up I decided to do some Bible reading. I am going through this Bible reading plan my professor gave us.

For today, it said to read 1 Corinthians 13.

 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

This love is the agape love that God gives us and we should be showing it to people. Patience is the first characteristic of this kind of love that Paul is describing, so I am guessing it is rather important. 

I pray that God continues to give me more insight on how to be patient and learn to wait upon Him with a patient heart (yes, I know when you ask for something like this God doesn't just give a person patience, but times to practice it. That is why I am expecting this to be hard).

I love how the Lord knows exactly what we need. That is why He is in control and I praise Him for that.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

GOSPEL.

 God. Our. Sins. Paying. Everyone. Life. 


the title. God knows what we need.

I had been waiting to write about the title of my entire blog until I could put into words what it meant. Well, after what I went through during the past 2 days I now can explain it. As I sip on my coffee, listening to the song With Everything, I will tell you what "Everything" means to me.

This is a word that has always made me think hard about my life, cry at times, and wonder what does it really mean. Everything literally means- all, total, completely...or the opposite of nothing; however, in my life it has more weight to the meaning. There are two parts to what I mean. First, my entire life should be glorifying to God, not just part of my life, but all of it (everything). Secondly, everything worth living for is about Jesus. I am learning to give up my flesh for what the Lord has planned, for making everything in my life about having a relationship with Jesus. This is hard. I do not mean it is impossible, but in our world today there are so many temptations and satan has done a great job at getting to our culture. This is why I want to lay down my desires for what God has planned. He is continually showing me that He has good planned for my life.

This blog is going to be about everything. Me learning to give up everything I am for Jesus. Me learning to glorify God with everything that I am because HE IS EVERYTHING. I will talk about how God teaches me, what challenges I experience, the good and the bad, and how with everything I want to praise His great name.

“Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We've built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.
So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.
God of all days,
Glorious in all of Your ways.
Your majesty, the wonder and grace,
In the light of Your name.
With everything,
With everything,
We will shout for your glory.”

You might ask, 'what does this have to do with the past 36 hours?' There are five things that happened that God was telling me that He knows what I need and that is why I should praise Him with everything. These five things showed me that everything I do should be out of love for God because of how much He loves me. First, I received an email from my soul sister who is in Malawi. This was something I was so excited to get because I wanted to hear her stories and stay connected with her this summer. Second, I was able to go to Northwestern to hang out with friends, pray with them and be encouraged. This community of people is one that God is using to influence me a lot this summer. I needed confidence for something happening this weekend and that is what God told one of the girls to talk about, and then the people that were needing this were prayed for. God knows what we need! The third thing that that happened was I watched the movie Furious Love. This is definitely worth 90 minutes of your life. I am still processing what I saw, but I was able to see a visual example of the power of God’s love for His creation. We should not be fearful because God’s love will not fail us, though it might be different than we think. One line from the movie that really stuck out to me was, “Jesus said, ‘I am the truth.’ Truth is not a teaching. Truth is a person.” That is what the world needs- Jesus.  The fourth thing that happened was at the last day of my internship. The Lord showed me how He is mercy. As I was sitting at my desk, getting frustrated with the computer because it was not working, the man who was sitting at the desk across from mine was talking on the phone to a friend. The Lord used this conversation they had to show me how our faith requires action and having a relationship with Christ is going to require everything we have. Both people on the phone had been struggling financially, and the man in the office had just prayed last month asking God to provide for him and his wife. The Lord did, even though he was still without a job. As the conversation went longer, I was still consumed by my computer, but when the guy behind me started crying I began to realize God was teaching them something and me something. This guy on other end of the phone was overwhelmed with doubt in the Lord and the guy in my office wanted to do all that he could to tell and show him that God is faithful. He then told him that he was going to pray and talk with his wife about giving financially to support this other guy. Wow. This guy sitting next to me was trusting in the Lord so much that he wanted to help his brother even though he was still struggling, and it was so encouraging to me. There are many passages in the Bible that talk about the suffering Christians will go through, but we need rejoice in those because they are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed to us. Trusting in God is an action, it is not something we can just say we do. Lastly, after my internship I wasn't sure what I was going to do last night. I asked a bunch of my friends if they could hang out and none of them could. I began to think, ‘okay I guess this means it is going to be a Jillian night- a night for me to just be and relax, maybe read a book or something.’ Then I got a text back from Kauline. She said she could go on a walk and I thought, ‘Awesome, now I can talk to her about this question I had wanting to ask her.’ I drove to her house and we began our walk. Well, the conversation was going to be what the Lord wanted us to talk about, not what I wanted to talk about. The Lord spoke through her and focused our conversation about things I needed to hear. It was a time for me to lay down my wanting for what the Lord had planned. God knew I needed to talk with Kauline about leading a Bible Study, how to love people who disagree with me, and other things...not the question I had for her. I also was able to talk with her, Cody, and Jon about doing a Bible Study. This gave me confidence in Christ, which was prayed for the night before.

The past two days I have learned what it means in Romans 8 when Paul talks about living life through the Spirit. The Lord knows what His children need and that was so evident to me. It was also clear how the Spirit helps us in our weakness and that people and creation are groaning for Jesus to return (even if they don't know it). We are to listen to God because He loves us so much. I am truly blessed and I want to continue to learn what it means to have all of me, everything I am, follow Jesus. He is worthy.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

change.

Things are changing. I am realizing this now that my roommate from freshmen year is now married, this could be my last summer at home, and my close friend is in Malawi (something we talked about wanting to do years ago). Despite the changes in life, God NEVER changes. He is constant- an all consuming fire that is jealous for us. My God is infinite, powerful, and full of grace.

As I am reading The Knowledge of the Holy, I am learning so much about the nature of God. Today's chapter was The Immutability of God. God will always be the same divine, holy, loving God that He always has been. Humans, including myself, change their mind and attitude about things every day, but God does not. A.W. Tozer says, "God never changes moods or cools off in His affections or loses enthusiasm. His attitude toward sin is now the same as it was when He drove out the sinful man from the eastward garden, and His attitude toward the sinner the same as when He stretched forth His hand and cried, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 

Wow. God has always hated sin and loved His creation. It is also an AWEsome thing to know that, "Today, this moment, He feels toward His creatures, toward babies, toward the sick, the fallen, the sinful, exactly as He did when He sent His only-begotten Son into the world to die for mankind." 

When Jesus came to die for ours sins, that was an act of love. That same love is given to us today! Praise the Lord.

 Verses about the immutability of God: 1 Samuel 15:29, Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8, James 1:17.