a short recap

The shortest version summary of my urban immersion: a time to broaden my perspective.

The short version summary: My perspective on ministry, God's love, God's creation, what it means to abide, the difference between rest and work, injustice, sex trafficking, and much more all was impacted. God wanted my eyes to be opened, mind to be thinking about what has and is happening, and heart to be full of His love for His people. People need Jesus. They do not need me. They do not need just a theology lesson. They do not need just a meal. They need hope which is found in Jesus Christ. My life has been changed because of this past week. It will take a great amount of time to process what happened, but that will come. I am not sure how specifically life will change other than God showing me that without Him I have nothing to offer people. I am so blessed by the Lord's sovereign plan and graciousness towards me. More stories will be written, but for now I thank my Heavenly Father for a change in perspective.

Please keep praying for my team and the debriefing and processing we are going through. We want God to get all the glory for the stories we share and what happened. Also, pray for Al. He is an elderly man I got to talk with for awhile at a nursing home. One of the hardest and greatest nights for me was talking with him because of how lonely he seemed.

P.S. Come to the Welcome Home Spring Benefit Show featuring two NWC bands. There will also be testimonies of what happened from the 4 spring break trips. https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/338248332894260/

the title. God knows what we need.

I had been waiting to write about the title of my entire blog until I could put into words what it meant. Well, after what I went through during the past 2 days I now can explain it. As I sip on my coffee, listening to the song With Everything, I will tell you what "Everything" means to me.

This is a word that has always made me think hard about my life, cry at times, and wonder what does it really mean. Everything literally means- all, total, completely...or the opposite of nothing; however, in my life it has more weight to the meaning. There are two parts to what I mean. First, my entire life should be glorifying to God, not just part of my life, but all of it (everything). Secondly, everything worth living for is about Jesus. I am learning to give up my flesh for what the Lord has planned, for making everything in my life about having a relationship with Jesus. This is hard. I do not mean it is impossible, but in our world today there are so many temptations and satan has done a great job at getting to our culture. This is why I want to lay down my desires for what God has planned. He is continually showing me that He has good planned for my life.

This blog is going to be about everything. Me learning to give up everything I am for Jesus. Me learning to glorify God with everything that I am because HE IS EVERYTHING. I will talk about how God teaches me, what challenges I experience, the good and the bad, and how with everything I want to praise His great name.

“Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We've built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.
So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.
God of all days,
Glorious in all of Your ways.
Your majesty, the wonder and grace,
In the light of Your name.
With everything,
With everything,
We will shout for your glory.”

You might ask, 'what does this have to do with the past 36 hours?' There are five things that happened that God was telling me that He knows what I need and that is why I should praise Him with everything. These five things showed me that everything I do should be out of love for God because of how much He loves me. First, I received an email from my soul sister who is in Malawi. This was something I was so excited to get because I wanted to hear her stories and stay connected with her this summer. Second, I was able to go to Northwestern to hang out with friends, pray with them and be encouraged. This community of people is one that God is using to influence me a lot this summer. I needed confidence for something happening this weekend and that is what God told one of the girls to talk about, and then the people that were needing this were prayed for. God knows what we need! The third thing that that happened was I watched the movie Furious Love. This is definitely worth 90 minutes of your life. I am still processing what I saw, but I was able to see a visual example of the power of God’s love for His creation. We should not be fearful because God’s love will not fail us, though it might be different than we think. One line from the movie that really stuck out to me was, “Jesus said, ‘I am the truth.’ Truth is not a teaching. Truth is a person.” That is what the world needs- Jesus.  The fourth thing that happened was at the last day of my internship. The Lord showed me how He is mercy. As I was sitting at my desk, getting frustrated with the computer because it was not working, the man who was sitting at the desk across from mine was talking on the phone to a friend. The Lord used this conversation they had to show me how our faith requires action and having a relationship with Christ is going to require everything we have. Both people on the phone had been struggling financially, and the man in the office had just prayed last month asking God to provide for him and his wife. The Lord did, even though he was still without a job. As the conversation went longer, I was still consumed by my computer, but when the guy behind me started crying I began to realize God was teaching them something and me something. This guy on other end of the phone was overwhelmed with doubt in the Lord and the guy in my office wanted to do all that he could to tell and show him that God is faithful. He then told him that he was going to pray and talk with his wife about giving financially to support this other guy. Wow. This guy sitting next to me was trusting in the Lord so much that he wanted to help his brother even though he was still struggling, and it was so encouraging to me. There are many passages in the Bible that talk about the suffering Christians will go through, but we need rejoice in those because they are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed to us. Trusting in God is an action, it is not something we can just say we do. Lastly, after my internship I wasn't sure what I was going to do last night. I asked a bunch of my friends if they could hang out and none of them could. I began to think, ‘okay I guess this means it is going to be a Jillian night- a night for me to just be and relax, maybe read a book or something.’ Then I got a text back from Kauline. She said she could go on a walk and I thought, ‘Awesome, now I can talk to her about this question I had wanting to ask her.’ I drove to her house and we began our walk. Well, the conversation was going to be what the Lord wanted us to talk about, not what I wanted to talk about. The Lord spoke through her and focused our conversation about things I needed to hear. It was a time for me to lay down my wanting for what the Lord had planned. God knew I needed to talk with Kauline about leading a Bible Study, how to love people who disagree with me, and other things...not the question I had for her. I also was able to talk with her, Cody, and Jon about doing a Bible Study. This gave me confidence in Christ, which was prayed for the night before.

The past two days I have learned what it means in Romans 8 when Paul talks about living life through the Spirit. The Lord knows what His children need and that was so evident to me. It was also clear how the Spirit helps us in our weakness and that people and creation are groaning for Jesus to return (even if they don't know it). We are to listen to God because He loves us so much. I am truly blessed and I want to continue to learn what it means to have all of me, everything I am, follow Jesus. He is worthy.

options

I  like options, but sometimes they can be overwhelming.
Now that my second year of college is done and I only have one more to go, I am starting to think about what to do after I graduate next May. Here are my options so far:

1. Live at the Annex. This is an apartment connected with Source (a ministry in Minneapolis that I did a mission trip with this spring). The apartment is for women who have gotten out of sex trafficking and other women who want to be role models for these women. http://sourcemn.org/index.htm
2. Go on a World Race trip through Adventures in Missions. They have many different trips including multiple 11 month trips that go to 11 countries and a 4 month trip that goes to a few different places and focuses on human trafficking. http://www.theworldrace.org/
3. Apply for an internship through World Vision that is in Washington. There is a pretty cool story about how I found this internship.
4. Any other missions opportunity/trip....Africa is on my heart.
5. I am sure other options will come up....summer camp counselor, travel to New Zealand or Greece, other jobs, etc.

All of these options seem blissful to me. Since I am graduating early, I want to go out and do missions and experience this beautiful world God has created. I do not feel called to staying in Minnesota, though I would love to live at the Annex because it is something I completely support and it is a huge missions opportunity in my own city.

I will be praying for the next year about these options and thankfully won't have to be deciding anything for months down the road. I would appreciate if you (whoever you are that reads this) would be praying for me about this too. I want my decision to be following God's plan and not what this world or my head tells me to do.

I like options because they all have their pros and cons, though all of these seem WONDERFUL. I think options make LIFE an adventure. My goal is to not worry about this decision because God's got it. Jesus even commanded His followers not to worry in the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:28-34