Coming to terms with my friends moving

I was walking my friends to the door after a lovely afternoon of Greek food, a birthday doughnut to celebrate 22, a stroll around my neighborhood, and time of prayer. I did not want it to end. The fifteen steps from the living room to the door seemed longer than normal. My heart had been preparing for this moment, even though I have gone through this type of thing before. The gals put their shoes on and gathered their belongings.

One of them gave me a hug and everything seemed normal. 

While giving the other one a hug I purposefully said, "See ya later,"  to her. 

After a few more laughs and words, to prolong the ending, the moment arrived. I had to open the door for them to leave.

I took one last look as they walked outside and I said it again, "See ya later. I love you and will miss you." 

While closing the door, I stood in the hallway for a few moments processing what happened.

My friend is going to be in another country for almost an entire year. This is not the first time one of my friends has left the country or state for a long period of time. I have had five close sisters leave in the past year, some plan to return while others don't. That is why, "See ya later," has become more common in my vocabulary. Even with the use of technology, it still saddens me to see my friends walk out the door. Looking at a friend through a screen is nothing like sitting across from a friend at our favorite coffee shop or going with another one on an adventure in Minneapolis or sitting side by side praying with one.

Facing reality is not always fun. During the last year, I have had to come to terms with friends going away. I know they are shining the light of Christ all around the United States and even other countries; yet, there is part of me that is sad and even mad at times. Not mad at anyone, just at circumstances. After talking about this with my roommate, I've learned that grieving friendships that are changing (not ending) is a healthy thing. I typically have to take time to process what has happened. This is done through prayer, journaling, talking, and yes even crying. I also have asked God why people who are so precious to me keep leaving. In His grace, He has given me an answer:

I often have relied on people for my significance, comfort, and satisfaction. The Lord has shown me over time that I was not created to do this. I was created to find each of these from Him. God did create humans to be relational, but not to find our value from others. There are days that all I want is my sisters to move back or for me to hop on a plane and fly to them. As they are gone; however, I am learning to not have friendships be an idol.

Friends are going to continue to come and go from life. That is why I'm beginning to see the phrase "see ya later," as a blessing in disguise. It is definitely better than goodbye.

is it free?

five gallon-sized buckets were spread out on the round table. each contained a different flavor of ice cream- cookies and cream, mint, fudge swirl, chocolate, and sherbert. four of us girls stood behind the table preparing for the mob of children (and the young at heart). the sun was shining, making ice cream the perfect cure for the heat. my first task was tearing open the ice cream cone packages and spreading the cones around the table. then the lids were taken off the buckets as someone on the stage announced, "ice cream is going to be served in the back of the parking lot." within 15 seconds, kids came running.

people gathered around the table and we were in service. as each person came up to us they were asked, "what kind do you want?" some knew right away what they wanted. others would get a thoughtful look on his or her face like they had the biggest decision to make of their lives. (i don't blame them. ice cream flavor choice is important).

after the first twenty people, things started slowing down. the ice cream began turning into a shake consistency and i began to wonder if we should keep it outside for much longer.

at that moment, a small Somalian boy walked to the table. there were only two of us serving now. i asked, "what flavor do you want?" he hesitantly responded, "is it free?" i quickly replied, "yes, of course it is."

a huge grin came over his face. "can i have two flavors," he asked. "yep, which two would you like?"

after thinking for a few seconds he pointed at two of the buckets. i scooped up the slightly melted chocolate and mint into a cone and handed it to him. he licked up the ice cream that was already dripping down the side of the cone and looked up at me with a smile. before he went back to his friends he timidly said, "thank you." smiling back, i replied, "you're welcome."

in that moment i realized why we were putting on the Fallout Art Fest- to show love to our neighbors and make sure they knew that we, the Source community and nonprofit i work for, was there for them.

this little boy was not the only one who asked if the ice cream was free. in fact, i heard it multiple times about the sno cones, meal, and interactive art. some people assumed that this festival would cost money.

like the little boy who i handed a free ice cream cone, i always think i have to pay for things. not many events or food are free in our society. when i find out something is free my excitement level shoots up.

i'm not sure what to conclude about this, other than i am so blessed to work for an organization and be part of community that truly loves our neighbors. i don't know if it is a good or bad thing that some kids and adults expected to have to pay for the food and art at the festival.

should we expect to be given anything for free or should we expect to have to pay for everything? there is a point in working for what we get, but there is also a thing called kindness. maybe we need a balance of working for things and having some things be given to us.

all i know for sure is, i will not forgot the smile the little boy had on his face when i handed him a free ice cream cone.