I think writing down some of the lessons that I learned this year is going to help me process everything. God has been revealing to me so much about the experiences I had this year.
Starting with the most recent...
These past two days were some of the best and hardest 48 hours ever. The ResLife staff went on a debrief retreat and I absolutely loved it because of the conversations that took place, along with the relaxation and fun that happened. God showed me how real this ResLife community has been and how it was such an example of the body of Christ. My staff became my refuge. They understand who God is and what He is doing in their life and mine. I am beyond appreciative of each of the nine soul sisters that God gave me for this past year. During the retreat we went around and said something that we appreciated or loved about each other. This time was wonderful and so encouraging. I will never forget this KnuHa staff. The retreat was hard because I realized how much I wish we would have more time together as an entire ResLife staff. We were just becoming super good friends and now it is over. Thankfully, many of these brothers and sisters will not be leaving NWC. I learned that I want to spend more time and in conversation with these people. (Good thing I have next year to practice this lesson that I learned with the new ResLife people).
Another lesson I learned is how faithful the Lord is to His children. He loves each one of us way more than we can imagine. I never expected to learn so much about myself and God in one year. I am so weak without God's strength. I need the GRACE of God to do things. This year I realized that I doubt God so much, yet He still delights in me. I just started reading "The Knowledge of the Holy," and it has shown me so much about the Lord. A.W. Tozer says, "He is not exactly like anything or anybody." There is nothing like God. We cannot compare Him to anything because of how HOLY, POWERFUL, LOVING, AND GREAT He is (and so much more). God is incomprehensible. I have learned over time that God has done things to reveal parts of who He is. He sent Jesus to die for this world and that shows us His indescribable love. This is something I learned about this year. God uses so many things to show us His love. I learned that even though there were times this winter when I felt extremely lonely, God used His scripture and voice to tell me "Jillian, I love you. You are not alone." He also showed me in October how loved I am because He knows exactly what I need. I was at Vespers one time and I told my friend something that I was struggling with and she told me that when I am tempted to say, "In Jesus' name go away." So I did this and the temptation went away. Wow, that is LOVE. When we trust in His name and call upon it, He will not fail us.
This leads to another lesson I learned, how powerful the name of Christ is. There is no name above Yahweh's name. At the retreat two nights ago, we were sitting around the bonfire talking about casting out demons and I do not understand a lot about this, but I do know that Christ's name is powerful. I want to have His name on my lips and in my thoughts. God is our Sovereign Father, who never wants to leave us.
The song "Your Great Name," by Michael Neale and Krissy Nordhoff has really spoken to me this year. One day Christ will come back and we will not just be able to talk about God, but we will be with Him.
"So Moses chiseled out two stone tablets like the first ones and went up Mount Sinai early in the morning, as the LORD had commanded him; and he carried the two stone tablets in his hands. Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” Exodus 34:4-7.
This passage shows what the name of the Lord is really like and who God is. After Moses was done speaking with the Lord and wrote down His commandments on the tablets, His face was radiant (WOW). This is so powerful because God describes Himself and His power and holiness are shown in this passage.
This also has to do with one of my favorite passages in Scripture, Psalm 34:4-7, "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them."
I am so excited for this summer because God told me at Unite that I should study His Word because this school year it became something I did not do as much as I should have. I am excited, yet kind of nervous for this because I know that I can make myself very busy. I want to decrease my worldly desires and increase my desires for the Lord. His name is GREAT and I want to study more about who He is. I am extremely thankful for all the lessons I learned this past year. I will definitely be processing them over these next few weeks.
I am in awe of the Lord and I am surrendering my plans every day for His plans.
